the next chapter

Okay, so this is one of those random, super personal posts that I will feel so much better having posted . . . I am getting a little bit of weight off the ol' shoulders, and opening up in a way I haven't in quite a while, and it feels wonderful to do so . . . :) I will tell you my work history in a snapshot . . . in 2003, I moved to Bozeman, Montana. I came from Denver, and from there I came from upstate NY. I visited Bozeman over a Thanksgiving holiday, interviewed with a wonderful law firm, told them I could start the job around Christmas, went back to Denver, got a phone call, and landed the job. Couldn't have been luckier. I began this career the end of that year, happily employed. Fast forward three years later, and I am the mother of two amazing little girls. I have a mad passion for photography. I am paying out the wazoo for day care. I am thinking I can probably make the difference in photography if I just launch my business and throw out a prayer or two. I give my two-week notice, and I start blogging. I am happily home, being a mom, starting each morning on the swingset with a cup of hot coffee in my hand. I go through the motions of waking, working, swinging, blogging, working, walking, napping, blogging, playing, and all of the other fun things us SAHMs do (except crafts - I am a horrible crafter). I begin developing a wonderful photography business, and then life takes a turn and starts a new chapter. I run into my old boss at a wine bar downtown, and let him know of my flexible schedule. The following week, I'm employed again, this time part-time. I think, I'm going to work my ass off. I'm going to work outside of the home, I'm going to work inside of the home, I'm going to schedule shoots left and right, I'm going to just do whatever I have to do to never worry about making it again . . . Along came Joe . . . I continued to work, I continued to run my business, and I began to feel the stress. I was working just three days a week, but that only left me two days and evenings to feed the photography fuel that I needed to keep everyone in the loop that I am, indeed, a full time photographer, legit in what I do, passionate about what I do, and so extremely lucky. And as my schedule developed and became a bit more permanent, I realized the challenges in working part time. Long weekends out of town became an inconvenience, and my super-sensitive persona became stressed. I wanted to be home, sitting here, doing what I'm doing now, doing what I love. Taking photos, writing, menu planning, trying my best to remember that the clothes I washed on Tuesday are sitting in mold in the washer on Thursday. When Joe gets home from work, I'm sitting at my computer, working on the business that deserves my attention during the day, so that I can enjoy my evenings with the ones I love oh so much. On Friday, I said goodbye to an amazing group of people I have been so blessed to work with, on and off, for the past eight years. And today I am so proud of being able to make the choice to be home, to work from home, to help Joe with his practice, and for the love of God to remember the clothes in the washer that is literally six steps from my desk. I had a couple of girlfriends over for dinner recently, and one of them asked me, how did you start your photography business? And I told the story, and by the time I got to the end, I was feeling quite proud of where I have come. When I left the law firm on Friday, I called one of my best friends, also a photographer, and said, I'm coming over to celebrate . . . and we sat there, faces in the sun, talking about everything under it, and I felt so incredibly lucky and loved and blessed and happy. This is a good life. I teared up for sure at the office, not because I was sad to leave and focus on the things that bring our family happiness and satisfaction, but because I am so blessed to have been treated so well for so many years by this amazing group of people. It's a wonderful day when you cry tears of gratitude. I'll be back in the blog-o-sphere in full force, and helping Joe as much as I can to promote his amazing practice, and I can't help but feel, in the pit of my stomach, that amazing things are coming our way. Do not be afraid to follow your dream. Even if you have to backtrack a bit, get right back on board when you can . . . (p.s. - if you didn't quite follow my rambling, here's what happened - I quit my part time job that I went back to about 1 1/2 years ago, and Friday was my last day, and I'm super stoked to have full attention back on my business, and to help Joe at his office, and to try and remember that there are wet clothes in the washer.) And the messy faces that make it all worth it :)